Holyoke Public School Superintendent Sergio Paez: De Guatemala A Guate-peor (From Bad To Worse) Part II

On Dec. 1, 2014 I sent Principal Breish and Dr. Paez an email denouncing and vehemently opposing an assignment my daughter was given where Christopher Columbus is regarded as a "remarkable" explorer of the Americas who "gained a world". 

The assignment completely erases the truth about Columbus being a lost, starving, diseased murderer, rapist, pillager, liar and criminal who invaded a land already inhabited by a civilized peaceful nation of Taino people.  Tainos are the original Boricuas of Borinquen, the island home later renamed Puerto Rico by Spaniard imperialist (terrorists) in greedy search for gold and slaves.  

I was outraged that in 2014 Paez has not removed such racist curriculum from the Holyoke Public School district and continues to force-feed a 70% Latino and primarily Puerto Rican student body and population such a dishonest, disempowering and dehumanizing curriculum.  (Please see Friday, December 5, 2014 post on blog).

I waited to hear back from Dr. Paez and/or Principal Breish about my expressed and explicit request to replace such dishonest and racially-biased curriculum with a balanced, truthful depiction of US and world history.  This is not the first time I express explicit concern around culturally-deficient curriculum.  Last year, I asked Principal John Breish why he failed to execute any meaningful curriculum or cultural programming around Black history month.  

Breish brushed off my curriculum concerns with: "Not to sound racist, but I think having Black history month curriculum is merely a token effort."  Meanwhile for Saint Patrick's Day, Principal Breish allowed ALL the students to dress up in fun, creative green colors replete with wigs, hair extensions, beads, glitter and of course a fundraiser to match where the best costumed student won a $25 dollar prize.  I still have the flyer for anyone who is interested in viewing it.  I never received a respectful response last year, and he echoed the same "Not to sound racist...but, I don't think the Christopher Columbus assignment was completely wrong about him; he [Columbus] was remarkable."  

Why Rethink Columbus?

"Students at Jefferson High School in Portland, Oregon, commemorated the 500th anniversary of Columbus's arrival in the Americas by launching a school-wide "discovery."  They invaded other class-rooms, stole teachers' purses, and claimed them as theirs.  Adapting a lesson described in the first edition of "Rethinking Columbus (p. 17 in this edition), students emptied a purse in front of a teacher and her class, then remarked on its contents: "This sure is good gum, think I'll have a piece...or two; you all know this is my purse, 'cause this is just my shade of lipstick."  Kids in the assaulted classrooms figured out what was going on only when the invaders compared their "discovery" to Columbus's "discovery."  

The high-school students, with advance permission from other teachers, led discussions and described Columbus's policies toward the Taino Indians on Hispaniola.  They concluded by offering black armbands to students as a way to demonstrate solidarity with Native Americans' 500 years of resistance.

Prompted by widespread Native American activism leading up to the Quincentenary, educators throughout the Americas re-evaluated the social and ecological consequences of the Europeans' arrival in 1492.  Teacher unions, community groups, social justice organizations, universities, and school districts initiated workshops and teach-ins.  

New curricula, videos and children's books appeared.  In 1991, Rethinking Schools published the first edition of Rethinking Columbus, which subsequently went through seven printings and sold 225, 000 copies. 

But, we have a long way to go...

The "Columbus-as-Discoverer" myth teaches children whose voices to listen for as they go out into the world - and whose to ignore.  Pick up a typical children's book on Columbus: See Chris: see Chris talk; see Chris grow up, have ideas, have feelings; see Chris plant the flag...In these volumes, native peoples of the Caribbean, the "discovered," are portrayed without thoughts or feelings.  And thus children begin a scholastic voyage that encourages them to disregard the perspectives, the lives, of people of color.  

Both the words and images of the Columbus myth implicitly tell children that it is acceptable for one group of heavily-armed, White people from a "civilized" country to claim and control the lands of distant non-white others."  Rethinking Columbus, Bigelow and Peterson." (Excerpt from Rethinking Columbus: The Next 500 Years)

I waited 20 days to hear back from either Principal Breish and/or Dr. Paez.  Monday, Dec. 22, 2014 I visited the central office to request a response to my Dec. 1st email to Dr. Paez requesting to be placed on the school committee's next meeting agenda regarding my curriculum concerns and to obtain a physical copy of the School Committee's 2013-14 SY Performance Evaluation for Dr. Paez.  

I was the only person and parent in the (Superintendent's) office.  All five chairs lined up against the wall by the secretary's desk-area were empty.  Jeanie, Paez's secretary asked me to wait outside the Superintendent's 'waiting area'.  When I asked why I couldn't just have a seat in one of the empty chairs Jeanie said "I'm just too busy and other people need to speak with me privately." I looked back and around but, no one was standing there.  Behind Jeanie's frozen smile, it was obvious to me, I was not welcomed in the Superintendent's office and that she was just trying to get rid of my physical presence.   

I walked out to the general waiting area and waited.  Jeanie came out and sat in a chair across from me.  

Jeanie: "Dr. Paez said the proper protocol if you have a concern is to first alert the principal and if you don't get a response then you involve him."  

I had done that and I knew Paez was just brushing me off.  Paez completely ignored my request to be added to the agenda at the next school committee meeting in December.  Paez never forwarded my request to the school committee; a blatant violation of section II of his employment contract. As a result of Paez' negligence, I missed the December school committee meeting and was unable to express my concerns.  

Me: "What about my request to have a print out of Dr. Paez's performance evaluation by the school committee?"

Jeanie: "Yes, Dr. Paez said we don't print that out for everyone but, you can access it on the school website."

Upon leaving, I immediately called the Vice Chair of the School Committee, Devin Sheehan.  I informed Sheehan Dr. Paez ignored my email from Dec. 1st requesting to be added to the next school committee's agenda and that he refused to provide me with a copy of his performance evaluation - a violation of the public records law. 

Sheehan offered to have a copy of Dr. Paez performance evaluation mailed to me.  I needed it sooner.  Sheehan offered to have a copy for me at the Mayor's office for pick up. Later that afternoon, I drove to the Mayor's office and when I arrived Nilka Ortiz, the Mayor's aide was unaware of my pick up.  Once again, I left without Paez's evaluation.  I called Sheehan back and left a message about not receiving the evaluation.  Sheehan had Billie, one of the Mayor's aides deliver a copy to my home.  Clearly, Paez' denial was a violation of the Public Records Law otherwise Sheehan would not have had it delivered to my home.  

Parents and youth advocates: I urge you to thoroughly review the Superintendent's Accelerated Improvement Plan (AIP) which is on the Holyoke Public School website.  The AIP is 42 pages of dense, industry-nuanced language which is designed to keep students, parents, teachers and their advocates/partners completely confused and overwhelmed.  

SC member Mildred Lefebvre, had this to say about the lack of clarity on her ability to evaluate Paez's performance on goal one: Instructional Leadership "Overall, it was very difficult to evaluate progress.  The information provided was limited [in the sense this is what you have to do and this is how we are going to do it.] But there is no evidence showing how we have made any progress (as minimal as it can be).  Once I opened the packet (binder) it was overwhelming.  Based on how things have been running since July 2013 to present is concerning.  Also the entire evaluation only included grades K-8; we are a K-12 district.  We have other big issues other than Early Literacy and those appear to be going by the wayside. "  

I have been studying Paez's 2013 - 2014 performance evaluation and his Accelerated Improvement Plan; both are designed and written in a language which excludes the very community it addresses; it is not bilingual and it is not plain English. 

Page one of the Holyoke school committee's review of Superintendent's performance review states: 

"We agreed upon four goals/standards to guide our review process.  The first being Instructional Leadership.  The main objective is to improve instructional quality by building leadership capacity throughout the district to continuously improve teaching and learning."  

Before I point out the first inadequacy in the Department of Early and Secondary Education evaluation components I would like to pose the question: Which [We] agreed upon four goals/standards to guide the school committee's review process? 

The school committee's Instructional Leadership standard failed to include a benchmark for culturally respectful, accurate and inclusive curriculum which engages students in a meaningful way, reflects their world (history) and acknowledges their relevance in society.  

Holyoke Public School District is a level four which means it is completely failing.  Page one of Paez's District Improvement Plan/Accelerated Improvement Plan (DIP/AIP) state-friendly-propaganda response is to over assess, test and drill our children, youth and teachers.  There is absolutely nothing creative, fresh or new about his method of operation which is premised in previous years polic(y)ing of our children, teachers and administrators to exhaustion.  

Page two of Paez's 2013-2014 AIP: 
"To address the issues and opportunities highlighted by the ESE District Review, HPS articulated and implemented a district-wide Accelerated Improvement Plan (AIP) starting in the 2011-2012 school year. 

Strategic Objective #1: Building instructional leadership capacity: The district utilized systems and structures built in the previous year to build the leaders’ capacity to be more effective instructional leaders. The District Instructional Leadership Team (DILT) met on a monthly basis with a “standing agenda” to focus on two key areas: (1) embedding data cycles, and (2) impacting classroom instruction through frequent walkthroughs and actionable
feedback. A system of classroom walkthroughs was utilized to ensure leaders frequently observed teacher practice and provided actionable feedback to teachers. School and District Improvement Plans (SIPs and DIPs) were monitored through monthly meetings between principals and the Assistant Superintendent to ensure progress."

Still I ask: In SY 2013 - 2014 Dr. Paez has gained $160,000.00 in income.  What has the Holyoke Public School community earned besides disingenuous, canned and microwaved monotoned speeches?  

Stay tuned to Part III of 

Sergio Paez: De Guatemala A Guate-peor.

#HolyokeFerguson

#BlackLivesMatter

#NuestroHolyoke

Holyoke Public Schools Superintendent Sergio Paez: De Guatemala A Guate-peor (from bad to worse) Part One

Section II., of Dr. Sergio Paez Holyoke Public School Superintendent employment contract subset E. exacts: Under Responsibilities and Duties Superintendent shall...

(E) Criticisms, complaints, and suggestions of substance called to the attention of the
Committee shall be referred to the Superintendent for study, disposition/or
recommendation as appropriate to facilitate the orderly administration of the HPS,
ensure responsiveness to the public and fairness to the Superintendent and the
Committee. Likewise, any substantial criticisms, complaints, and suggestions called to
the attention of the Superintendent shall be referred to the attention of the Committee
for study, disposition/or recommendation as appropriate.

As a Holyoke Public School parent, I have experienced Superintendent Paez to be consistently dismissive towards the needs and concerns of parents and their students; including my own.  

On August 28, 2014 I emailed my daughter's principal John Breish regarding my child's impending walk to and from school.  The mostly uphill .09 mile trek required skillful manuevering of high speed traffic across Route 202 which intersects with I-91 at exit 16 right before it goes under the high way.  Mostly without sidewalks and no crossing guard or traffic police anywhere on this route my daughter and I would reach the Soldiers Home where construction was in progress eliminating the few existing sidewalks up route 202.  

I asked Principal Breish how he would feel if his two sons(who conveniently attend the out-of-zone school where he is principal)faced manuevering the treacherous trek to school - 
he agreed it was life-threatening.  

For two weeks, I called both Principal Breish and Dr. Paez' office only to receive the 'run around'. I was told they were in meetings by their secretaries and no one knew when they would be available.  A week later, I received a call from the director of transportation services who 'matter of factly' denied my daughter transportation per Paez's recommendation.  I was told my daughter would not receive transportation because she was not in her zone school.

Due to a period of extended unemployment from 2008 to 2010, my daughter and I became displaced in 2011.  From Springfield we were placed in a motel/shelter in Holyoke on Allen Street.  It was not an ideal situation but, I remained focused and driven to regain our stability.  Within three months I obtained gainful salaried employment and secured a safe place to live just two street lights South on Northampton Street. Our previous shelter placement zoned my daughter at Lt. P. Clayre Sullivan Elementary School.  Purposed in our stability I opted to keep her at Sullivan.   

My family's previous living situation was part of my daughter's school record.  Rather than accuse Gina Roy, the Director of student services of callous negligence I will show mercy and grace (something she never extended to my family).  Instead, I will attribute Mrs. Roy's unresponsiveness to a lack of due diligence in evaluating our previous living situation which would have revealed my child's eligibility for transportation.  

Upon receiving their cold "unfortunately our policy states that because your daughter is not in her zone school she is not eligible for tranportation" I called Devin Sheehan, Vice Chair of the School Committee.  Sheehan recognized the urgent nature of my legtitimate request and assured me he would look into the matter.  Paez still hadn't returned my calls.  It wasn't until I reported my story to two media networks who's same-day coverage revealed tractor trailer trucks's making sharp turns on Homestead Avenue with no crossing guard to guide students safely across that I received a (disingenuous) call back from Paez who fained concern agreeing to place my daughter on a already enroute bus that afternoon.  

On December 15,2014 The Holyoke School Committee Reviewed Superintendent Paez' performance for the 2013 - 2014 school year. Dr. Paez was evalutated in four major areas (with one overall rating) which could be assessed as unsatisfactory, needs improvement, proficient and exemplary. Below are the four major areas of evaluation.

1. Instructional Leadership
2. Management and Operations
3. Family and Community Engagement
4. Professional Culture

Unsurprisingly, Paez' performance evaluation from eight out of nine school committee members was primarily 'needs improvement/developing' in all four areas, three 'unsatisfactory' and an overall rating of 'Needs Improvement' with three ratings of 'unsatisfactory'.  

Most notable were Paez' ratings from various school committee members in the area of Family and Community Engagement.

School committee member Dennis Birks wrote the following summary regarding Dr. Paez's performance in the area of family and community engagement:

"He conducted a state of the schools address and ward meetings and used the same presentation in all meetings to very different audiences.  In the ward meetings he assured parents timely two-way communication and easy accessibility but, from conversations and e-mails I've received from parents I've learned he failed to keep that promise.  On numerous occassions he either did not call parents back (in a timely manner)  or did not call back - at all.  Communication with parents is a key component to students success and in order to keep parents involved their views, concerns and ideas should be respected.  

Dr. Paez was also the speaker at the chamber of Commerce breakfast this year and he gave the same presentation he gave at the state of the schools address and the ward meetings.  I felt this was a missed opportunity to share ideas with community business owners and stakeholders of how they can be involved with increasing the graduation rate, increasing reading proficiency in students by grade three and decreasing the dropout rate in the HPS".  

Mildred Lefebvre of Ward one had this to say..."Lack of communication, confusion throughout the district and families tired of the lack of respect and  follow through. Principals (are)constantly in meetings. Teachers appear to not have a life anymore. Everyone appears to have stopped looking at the overall well-being of our students.  Not addressing concerns in a timely fashion." 

Only after exposing Paez' unresponsiveness to a 10 year old's unsafe walk to school was I able to get my daughter safely to and from school.  

In the school year 2013 - 2014 Dr. Paez gained $160,000.00 in income.  What has the Holyoke Public School community gained besides disingenuous, canned and microwaved monotoned speeches?  

Stay tuned for part II of: HPS Supterintendent Sergio Paez: De Guatemala a Guate-Peor...

Holyoke/Ferguson: We Can't Breathe (Municipal and Civic Leaders Join To Stifle Resident's Political Voice)

sti·fling

ˈstīf(ə)liNG/

adjective

1. 1.

   causing difficulties in breathing; suffocating.

   "stifling heat"
2. 2.

   making one feel constrained or oppressed.

Is Anti-Racism, Anti-Police?  Captain Seklecki, President of local #409 the Holyoke Police Supervisors Union seems to equate the two...

In a letter dated December 17, 2014, Cpt., Seklecki writes: "Dear Councilors Valentin and Lisi,

On behalf of the members of Local #409 (Police Supervisors Union) I would like to express our disappointment in your decisions to participate in what was clearly observed by our members as an anti-police protest march".  

But is Captain Seklecki's letter really just a front to stifle Councilor Valentin's (a Puerto Rican lesbian) solidarity with residents outraged and committed to organize against our systemic oppression in Holyoke?

If in fact, Cptn. Secklecki equates anti-racism with anti-police then, he himself is equating police with racism. The Black and Brown residents of Holyoke are fed up with the HPD's complete failure to stand against the historically and systemic racism carried out by an predominantly White culturally monolithic Holyoke public school system, poorly designed housing, discriminatory job market, redlining real estate practices, poorly designed public spaces of recreation and of course the Holyoke police department profiling of Black and Brown men, women and children.

Why didn't the City of Holyoke convene a town hall (back in August) to steward a healthy conversation between Holyoke's POC and its police department?  Personally I was disgusted with the deadly silence on the part of the city, the school department and our police department who should have taken the lead to engage POC in a dialogue with the rest of the nation who are protesting, marching, disrupting 'business as usual' to righteously demand justice from our legal system.  The fact that Morse's administration took no action - frightened me.

I receive an automated call or text from the Morse's office to notify me of comparatively frivolous issues like a parking ban.  Couldn't Morse use that same system of communication to notify residents of a town hall?  

The City of Holyoke has done nothing to provide a platform for open dialogue which would foster healthy relations between POC and the police moving forward.  Consequently, on December 12, 2014, we chose to exercise our constitutional rights and express our outrage and denounce the racist (over) policing of communities of color.  

Instead, of supporting our efforts, standing in solidarity with our pain, our fears, our lived realities of disenfranchisement and oppression, civic leaders demonstrated their apathy and disregard by criticizing and shading our efforts.

The Black lives matter is a national movement stewarded by YOUNG Black and Brown (transgender and queer) women and men to end State-sanctioned murdering of Black and Brown bodies by local law enforcement.  Our December 12, 2014 Holyoke March should have begun at the Holyoke High School where Black and Brown students (our children, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, grandchildren) and their allies would have led the march as this is a youth led movement. But John Brunelle, Ward five Holyoke school committee member and acting Principal Stephen Sullivan would rather our youth be disengaged from any and possibly all civic process and ignorant to their constitutional rights.  

"We need to let people know just making sure that our students were not brought into that," Brunelle said.

Holyoke HS Sullivan & School Committee member Brunelle To Stiffle Students Protest

Under section A. of the Holyoke school committee policy manual, The People And Their School District it states that the School Committee:

"Has an obligation to determine and assess citizens' desires[...]Maintain two-way communications with citizens of the community.  Act as a truly representative body for members of the community in matters involving public education."  

I find school committee member J. Brunelle's comments unsupportive to the community's outcry and contradictory to the school committee's mission as outlined above.  

Our nation is in an uproar about state sanctioned police brutality which has takes the lives of unarmed Black and Brown youth.  70% of Holyoke High School students are low-income and %67.9 are Latino. Brunelle's opposition towards students participating in a well-organized peaceful march against anti-Black/Brown police practices denied them the opportunity to participate in our community's collective voice to denounce racism, prohibited their civic engagement, and only served to undercut their political power.  

While John Brunelle seeks to shut our collective voice down City Councilor (at-large)Lisi infiltrated our efforts intending to meter our outrage, prescribe our verbiage and moderate our message.  

City Councilor at-large Rebecca Lisi, who's (husband is also on Morse's payroll) perfunctory participation in our march ultimately exposed her patriarchal allegiance stating: 

"Several messages were chanted as the group made their way through the streets and it has come to my attention that some people are accusing me of chanting “FTP” (f@$% the police). I want to make sure that there is no mistake here- I did NOT have any interactions with police officers that day nor did I chant “FTP” at any point and I would not ever give my voice to support such a sentiment- I find it to be degrading and that it doesn’t reach the people who we need to include as we grow the movement- namely police officers and white, middle-class citizens."  

While I am disappointed in Lisi's retraction; my convictions and actions are not premised on what she feels is "important to grow OUR movement."  Lisi does not understand our righteous indignation.  How could she?  Lisi is a white middle-class Holyoker who has never encountered police brutality; it is not her experience. 

And, I don't have time to make excuses for White women (or gay White men) who can't connect anti-Black police brutality with White (Patriarchal) Supremacy; to me - they are one in the same.  Lisi refuses to see that we are not saying "fuck the police" to individual law-abiding officers; we are saying it to a machine comprised of the Fraternal Order of Police, the FBI, the CIA, state prosecutors, selected officials, the electoral college, capitalism, and colonialism, which POLICE our lives towards the goal of neutralizing our equitable existence.  

But we are NOT disappearing into the shadows...as they trust we will.   Many among us are taking concrete action in solidarity with our communities of color.  

In no way is this an attempt to endorse or vouch for City Councilor Valentin however her demonstrated conviction to defend her right to protest and represent her constituency (Holyoke POC) merits credit.  

The following is an excerpt of Ms. Lisi's response to Cptn. Seklecki's attempt to stifle Holyoker's constitutional rights to protest police brutality.  

"Thank you for offering me the opportunity to further discuss my participation in last Friday's march.
It is an unfortunate reality of our history that the United States has too often placed black and brown citizens outside the full protection of the law. An era of forced segregation is within living memory. And culturally, we are often led to believe in the inherent criminality of our black and brown citizens. That’s part of who we are, and that’s the painful reality that has brought millions of people across the country to march in the streets, as I did last week.

As a City Councilor, I am accountable to the people of Holyoke. And if there are people in Holyoke who feel unsafe, or fear that the color of their skin impedes their full membership and participation in our community, I have a duty to stand with them -- not to stand against our distinguished police department, but to stand with them. Their experiences matter, and so do their lives.

I think now is the ideal time for our police officers to extend the same empathy to the millions of protesters across the country -- to try to understand the pain and fear that parents of color feel when they send their children out into an often dangerous world. The dangers our children of color face are real, and they cannot be dismissed or wished away.

A recent study shows that young black males are 21 times more likely to be shot and killed by police than their white counterparts. I think it’s worth considering why that is. I think it’s worthwhile for all of us, as Holyokers and Americans, to ask ourselves what biases we are carrying into our daily lives. In a job marked by split-second, sometimes life-and-death decisions, the way we see each other matters.

That, ultimately, is why I marched on Friday December 12th -- to help us all consider how we see each other and why; to call attention to a history that we still very much live with; and to make our community a safer place for all of us. It has been said that I chanted “FTP”. I did not. It has been said that “anti-police chants” were said in front of DiNapoli’s memorial. That did not happen. What did happen at DiNapoli’s memorial was a 4.5 minutes of silence moment that was led by one of the march organizers. The march was not “anti-police”. The march was intended to bring a set of important issues to the public discourse. The march was about something much larger than the HPD or myself.

-- 
Councilor Valentin's response left me feeling well....represented.  But, as we say in radio "you're only as good as your last break."  So, I will remain vigilant of the actions of all our civic leaders that they walk their talk.  For now, it's Holyoke PD vs. the people 0:1.

Holyoke needs competent leadership capable of confronting longstanding racially-biased policing practices.  Sound leadership requires a mayor who pre-emptively gages the pulse of the city's residents.  Mayor Alex Morse should host a town hall meeting featuring a panel representative of Black and Brown community leaders in all sectors: Law enforcement, justice system, education, workforce development, Government, and housing sector to address concerned citizens of color.   

#WeCan'tBreathe
#BlackLivesMatter 
#HolyokeFerguson 
#AbuseDynamics 

Undoing Racism In Holyoke: Enough Lamentation We Demand Legislation

How do we undo racism?  Where do we begin to un-do racism? Who are the oppressed and who are the oppressors in Holyoke?

Friday December 12, 2014 Black and Brown residents of Holyoke, MA set a precedent to call out long-standing and systemic anti-Latino and Black racism in the Holyoke police department. 

Initially, the plan was to have Holyoke High School students march together with residents however - the City of Holyoke was having none of that. We were not allowed to begin our protest at Holyoke High School.  It appears, Morse's administration would rather Holyoke youth remain dormant - dis-engaged from the #Black Lives Matter movement which is calling an end to the militant policing of Black and Brown communities.  

200 Black and Brown wombyn, men, children, differently-abled and transgender (residents) along with White allies marched from Career Point to City Hall on Dwight and High Street(s).  Many expected mayor, Alex Morse to address the protesters however he nor anyone from his office came out to show support.  

While Morse' administration did not support the Black Lives Matter Holyoke protest,two City Counselors Jossie Valentin and Rebecca Lisi did march with those of us who have been protesting, marching, rallying, dying and standing-out since the murder of Michael Brown and the non-indictment of his killer - former police officer Daren Wilson.

Peaceful protesters felt inhibited by the police escort who enforced barricade borders. But the metal barricades could not contain our "No justice, no peace! No Racist-ass Police! Or, the fervent FTP: Fuck the Police!" reverberating throughout downtown Holyoke.   

The march culminated at United Congregational Church at 300 Appleton Street in Holyoke where the people held a "town hall" of sorts. Resident youth victim to Holyoke police brutality, profiling and harassment spoke out against the ways in which they have been criminalized, marginalized and pushed through the school-to-prison pipeline system.    

Phoenix, a Puerto Rican teenager testified how a Holyoke police officer profiled him one afternoon during a casual walk in his own neighborhood.  

"I decided to go for a walk in my neighborhood when suddenly a police cruiser pulls up beside me.  Thinking oh no, here we go, my heart began to race...  The police officer asked me what I was doing, my name, address and my social security number.  I knew he wanted to look me up to see if I had a record. If I'd had something on my record (which, I didn't)perhaps it would have given him reason to search me, arrest me or who knows what.  He then said a call had come in about a stolen bike.  The conversation should have been over; I was not on a bike.  But, he continued to question me."

This is how the Holyoke police department criminalizes our Black and Brown youth - guilty until proven innocent. 

In a letter dated December 15, 2014, Edward Moskal, President of Local 388 of the International Brotherhood of Police Officers (IBPO)states: "I would like to thank President Kevin Jourdain and the City Council for the passage of a resolution supporting the Holyoke Police Department. Although this resolution was passed it appeared that two members of the City Council strayed with this opinion and on Friday, December 12, 2014 marched through the downtown during a demonstration which included yelling anti-police rhetoric now familiar to anyone who has watched the evening news. 

Whether they were ones that did voice those opinions or not, it appears that they were not offended in any significant way to remove themselves from the other demonstrators who were chanting these harsh, profane and offensive slogans.  As a police officer I respect their freedom of speech and understand that they have a right to express their opinions and beliefs.  As a resident and voter I also have the right to make sure that every effort is undertaken to ensure that they are removed from their office in the next election."  

Moskal's swift move to denounce and call for the "removal" of two city counselors/Holyoke residents is in lock-step with the "Blue-wall" practices and protocols of the Fraternal Order of Police which ends the career and threatens the life of a police officer who testifies against an unlawful officer.  

In the above paragraph, the IBPO did not condemn municipal employees right to protest.  More specifically, the IBPO condemns municipal employee's civic and constitutional right to protest against the unlawful practices of the Holyoke Police department.  

The lack of judicial transparency in exposing anti-Black/Latino racist police practices is exactly what residents of Holyoke are protesting.  

The residents of Holyoke including its municipal public servants, are not just protesting a few 'rotten-apples' - no.  We are protesting a coordinated system of communication that protects police from the law when they break it.  In that, prosecutors circumvent charging unlawful officers by convening a concealed group of individuals - a grand jury. 

We are protesting the way in which, prosecutors present massive amounts of evidence without helping a grand jury to connect it with the law.  Instead, prosecutors are allowing a grand jury to make their own interpretation of evidence.  More importantly, officers are allowed to testify for hours about how they felt, what they thought they were doing and how sorry they are; non-evidence based testimony.  Grand juries NEVER cross-examine police officers. 

Additionally, the prosecutor can opt to omit physical evidence IE: video and eye-witness testimony of a crime scene.  A grand jury then, decides whether to charge an officer or not based on the presented evidence/testimony.

Vincent Warren, Executive Director of the Center for Constitutional Rights asserts...

"Police officers are prosecutors 'bread and butter' they depend on them to indict citizens posing an inherent conflict of interest.  When a prosecutor has to indict a police officer who has committed a crime of any scale; an independent prosecutor should be brought in."  

The IBPO moved swiftly to solicit the praise of the Holyoke City Council which incidentally, does NOT represent the community it serves. The Holyoke City Council is: pale, male and stale, in that, it is 90 percent White middle-class men who have held political affiliation as an inheritance.  Their elected office has more to do with 'who' they know than 'what' they know.  

As soon as we learned of the IBPO's December 15, 2014 letter denouncing protesters and our municipal supporters, we determined to descend on the meeting in one unified voice to send a clear message: we will not tolerate any more political manipulation and coercion against our civic and constitutional right to protest in the name of justice.  

We demand to be heard...

We demand to speak for our selves...

We demand to be the solution.

This is how we begin to un-do racism.

#BlackLivesMatter: A Call To (Resistance) Action.

Alicia Garza along with her two sisters Patrisse Marie Cullors-Brignac and Opal Tometi are co-founders of the #BlackLivesMatter movement. On February 26, 2012 George Zimmerman, a self-proclaimed vigilante and son of a Florida Judge assassinated Trayvon Martin, an unarmed African American (Black) teenager. Zimmerman's subsequent and complete acquittal (of all charges) left a deafening silence where Justice should have echoed. In come the movement whisperers....

"I created #BlackLivesMatter with Patrisse Cullors and Opal Tometi, two of my sisters, as a call to action for Black people after 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was post-humously placed on trial for his own murder and the killer, George Zimmerman, was not held accountable for the crime he committed. It was a response to the anti-Black racism that permeates our society and also, unfortunately, our movements." Alicia Garza, The Feminist Wire, October 7, 2014.


Most of us went on with our daily lives bruised and defeated by our ignored protest(s), walks, marches, rallies and public denouncement of the Legal Systems' failure to serve justice in the case of Trayvon Martin. Garza, Cullors and Tometi were hard at work creating and structuring a call to lead action in defense of all Black life. #BlackLivesMatter is a call to document, real-time the value of Black life to be the narrators of our own stories and illustrators of our own image(s). Mainstream media has always watered down and diminished Black resistance movements to anti-Black racism. Alicia clearly states above "It was a response to the anti-Black racism that permeates our society and also, unfortunately, our movements."


It wasn't until the murder of another Black unarmed teenager, Michael Brown that I learned of #BlackLivesMatter yet its full meaning would not reveal itself until I became part of the tide - which rises out of the dark waters onto the shore in large mass.

"Out of the dark...into the streets!" This was one of the many chants Mount Holyoke College students shouted in unison as we marched up Morgan Street leaving the campus and spilling onto the main intersection where we would block traffic. The December 4th, 2014 United We Stand Divided We Fall: An MHC Day of Action event was organized by three powerful students: Dianna Tejada, a senior Africana Studies major, gender studies and cognitive neuroscience double minor, Melanie Wilkerson - a senior sociology major and Carihanna Morrison - a junior East Asian Studies Major.
Left to right: Melanie Wilkerson, Dianna Tejada, Carihanna Morrison

This fearsome trio led Mt. Holyoke College Students in a Day of Action which began with a 12:30 pm "Die-in" at Blanchard Campus Center picking up at 4:00 P.M. with a March and Rally through the center of downtown Hadley where rush hour evening traffic was blocked and backed up into Holyoke, Amherst and Granby, MA.


#BlackLivesMatter, social media conversation hub turned mass movement dictates we carve out [public] space to interrupt business as usual...


Me: "Dianna, how did you become involved in #BlackLivesMatter?"

Dianna: "I became involved specifically during the Ferguson October call for solidarity. A group of six of us drove to Ferguson to protest, march, dialogue and organize for when we got back to Western Mass. I have always been a fighter for justice and social equity for all oppressed people; because as the chant says 'The whole damn system is guilty as hell.' "

Me: "What was your goal for Thursday's event(s)

Dianna: "Our goal for Thursday was to interrupt the business as usual BS we saw on campus. So many people were (and continue to be) so submerged in their privilege that they are unable to sympathize or recognize the way the (in)justice system has wronged Black and Brown folks since the inception of the "New World". "

Me: "Why spill out into pubic spaces IE: downtown intersection blocking traffic?"

Dianna: "Because if the victim's families are unable to go on with business as usual, neither should we."

Me: "Share your most memorable moment from the day of action."

Dianna: "The most memorable moment was during the staged die-in, watching white students walk over the bodies of students of color and our allies as if there was nothing wrong with it. Some of them huffed and puffed and even glared at students who were on the ground in disgust because we were finally taking up space, finally fighting back. It was beautiful seeing all of the students of color and our allies standing together in solidarity."

Me: "Why did you see fit to hand your bull-horn to my 10 year old little girl?"

Dianna: "As as child, I was made to feel my voice didn't matter, that I couldn't change the world. I know the importance in letting younger folks recognize they are leaders NOW and that they CAN lead, they CAN change the world, and they they are who we need to have on the front lines learning how to mobilize people - no matter the age difference. Young people have power, agency, skills we all need to learn from and I saw that fire in her. So, I wanted her to have the chance to lead the group."

Although this is only one of the many actions I have attended..it was by far the most memorable for my daughter and I.

One trio in the San Francisco Bay Area set off sonar codes of conduct, reverberating in all four directions magnetically calling trios of women in solidarity with Mike Brown and the countless innocent Black people who have been murdered due to state sanctioned violence....and this is only the beginning.

My most memorable moment on Dec. 4, 2014... Dianna, Kala, my daughter and I were in my car. The march/rally was over and I was driving the ladies to the Holyoke Mall to join other five college students in an action which was to take place. Kala Jones, another Mt. Holyoke College student who also participated in the "die-in" stated:

"During the die-in at Mount Holyoke, at least one hundred students laid on the ground while one of the organizers called out names of people who died due to police brutality. No matter how long I stayed on the ground the floor never got warm. The cold feeling reminded me of what all of this rallying is all about. The long list of names sounded like a graduation but, it wasn't graduation..."


Close your eyes and (non-verbally) repeat the following until it echoes in your spirit:

"IT IS OUR DUTY TO FIGHT FOR OUR FREEDOM. 

IT IS OUR DUTY TO WIN. 

WE MUST LOVE AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER. 

WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT OUR CHAINS."

- Assata Shakur

Christopher Columbus And Thanksgiving: Under Savage Assembly

U.S.A

Under Savage Assembly
Uncivilized
Unethical
Under attack
Under Surveillance All the time
Under the boot of your...
Sociopathic flesh-eating virus

Supremacist egos fed by 
Slavery
Surrender - Never -Will - I...

Accept your cannibalistic heritage
Eating the fruit of your own womb
Lickin' bloody blade
Thinking you are feeding 
But, really, depleting 
Yourself of 
Vital plasma,  
Aborting Life, Liberty and Legacy
Just-less handshakes in dark rooms 
and private meetings...
To amass
Unlawful Securities 
Live Stock, Land & Human Life.  

On Tuesday November 25, 2014 my 10 year old Nani came home with one of the most insulting, deceitful, culturally undermining and historically incorrect assignments to date.  Not only does the Holyoke School department not teach our children the truth about world history but, it completely erases the truth about US history.  Our children are indoctrinated with fabrications of European prowess and cultural, religious, and political supremacy.  Our children's ancestors and their rich political, social and economical history is strategically eliminated; erasing our Afro-Indigenous cultural heritage leaves them feeling ashamed and displaced in their world.  

I was sitting on the couch tying my shoelaces when my daughter quietly informed me

"Mommy, Ms. Moriarty gave us a Christopher Columbus assignment."   

Nani and I were headed out to WTCC Springfield Technical Community College's community radio station where I have been (guest) co-hosting going on two years.  I was sitting on the couch tying my shoe laces and the defeated tone in her annoyed admission triggered my righteous indignation.  

"Don't worry mama, you don't have to do it.  In fact, we are going to Plymouth, Massachusetts to a ceremony to honor and be with the first true Americans - The American Indians of New England."

Nani's eyes lit up with curious wonder.  

"American Indians from the Arawak tribe settled in New England living in very civilized societies.  In fact, if it hadn't been for the Arawak in what is now called New England; Christopher Columbus and his crew of pirates would have died diseased-ridden and starved," I explained.  

In a People's History of the United States: 1492 - Present, (Howard) Zinn recounts: Spain was recently unified, one of the new modern nation-states like France, England, and Portugal.  Its population, mostly poor peasants, worked for the nobility, who were 2 percent of the population and owned 95 percent of the land.  Spain had tied itself to the Catholic Church, expelled all the Jews, driven out the Moors.  
Like other states of the modern world, Spain sought gold, which was becoming the new mark of wealth, more useful than land because it could buy anything.  In return for bringing back gold and spices, Spain promised Columbus (who was from the Italian city of Genoa) 10 percent of the profits, governorship over new-found lands, and the fame that would go with a new title: Admiral of the Ocean Sea.  A part-time weaver and expert sailor, he set out with three sailing ships, the largest of which was the Santa Maria. 

Columbus would never have made it to Asia, which was thousands of miles farther away than he had calculated, imagining a much smaller world.  

October 12, 1492 was a disastrous day for the Arawak.  

From Christopher Columbus' log: "They brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawk's bells.  They willingly traded everything they owned...They were well built, with good bodies and handsome features...They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance.  They have no iron.  Their spears are made of cane...They would make fine servants...With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want."

Zinn recounts: "These Arawaks of the Bahama Islands were much like the Indians on the mainland, who were remarkable for their hospitality, their belief in sharing.  These traits did not stand out in the Europe of the Renaissance, dominated by the religion of popes, the government of kings, the frenzy for money that marked Western civilization and its first messenger to the Americas.  

Could the Arawak, Apache, Taino, Wampanaog and other indigenous tribes still really be around? Are they really people who are humble enough to give you whatever they have?  

Together with my daughter, I was determined to find out.  So, while everyone else was spending their money on "Thanksgiving Day" turkey, sides, decorations of turkey with pilgrim hats and the like; I responded to the United American Indians of New England call to action: National day of Mourning.  I didn't know what to expect; it sounded sad kind of like going to a funeral.  But, I heard an inner voice...my spirit or, perhaps the voice of my ancestors calling me to do it afraid.  

It was not an audible voice, no, it was like a hunger pang which leaves you doubtless of what action you must take to stop it.  

From left to right: Alberto Barreto, Monica Moorehead and Mahtowin Munro


I received an facebook invitation from Mahtowin Munro (Ma-to-wee) one of the organizers of the National Day of Mourning and member of the United American Indians of New England. On my way back from the communal food table I passed the beautiful Afro-Indigenous woman in the middle, Ms. Moorehead, who sat at a table eating happily with people.  

Before the communal dinner, there were presentations, declarations, singing, drumming and speeches for two hours.  Regrettably, I missed those because as I mentioned I struggled with issues of going alone, the possibility of getting lost, not knowing anyone there, etc. And even though I left late, all those doubts, fears and anxieties went away as soon as we hit the road.  

Overcoming fear is an amazing spiritual leap.   

I couldn't believe how easy the drive to Plymouth was...we drove right up to the harbor where large boats were docked.  And then, my daughter inquisitively asked 

"Mommy, how come I don't see anything Native American?"  

Every storefront was named Pilgrim this or, Pilgrim that.  No images of Native American culture on Water Street along the boardwalk.  

Not unlike the Sonar LRAD NYC police just used on peaceful protestors...last night

So loudly racist; it was deafening.  

The state police presence was disturbing.  Who or better yet, what were they protecting?  And, from whom?  Soon we reached Cole Hill where the memorial ceremony had already taken place.  I walked up to a family of four.  

"Hello, have all the presentations ended?" I asked.  The mother smiled and said "They've already marched and delivered some speeches.  But, I think there is still someone speaking in the church."  

I nodded.  "What tribe is your family from?"  

Well, we are Mexican." the mother proudly announced.  

"How wonderful," I thought.  What a powerful act of Solidarity from generation to generation.  

"My parents are from Puerto Rico." I said to the mother.  "Oh, there was a woman from the Taino Nation here and she spoke beautifully." she said excitedly.  

I was elated and proud (by her immediate knowledge of my ancestors) yet sad I had missed such an important part of my experience. I later learned, the Taino woman's name is Inarunika and she spoke about how the Taino were the first to have to deal with the invasion, and about the need to fight back.  Next year, I will not miss a thing.  I said my thank you(s) and good bye(s) and ascended up Cole's Hill towards the only Native American image in Plymouth. 
"After the Pilgrims' arrival, Native Americans in New England grew increasingly frustrated with the English settlers' abuse and treachery. Metacomet (King Philip), a son of the Wampanoag sachem known as the Massasoit (Ousameqin), called upon all Native people to unite to defend their homelands against encroachment. The resulting "King Philip's War" lasted from 1675-1676. Metacomet was murdered in Rhode Island in August 1676, and his body was mutilated. His head was impaled on a pike and was displayed near this site for more than 20 years. One hand was sent to Boston, the other to England. Metacomet's wife and son, along with the families of many of the Native American combatants, were sold into slavery in the West Indies by the English victors."  (www.uaine.org)

Within 15 or 20 minutes I encountered at least 10 people I had met recently; all of which were either Hampshire College students and a Springfield resident who is involved in social justice work. 

Walking up the hill towards the church where the potluck was beginning I met Sparrow Hawk of the Apache  Nation.  Bro. Sparrow had a gentle and humble spirit not at all encumbered by my brash "hello". Sparrow wore beautifully colored regalia and let me know he was originally from the Southwest but, was now residing in Connecticut.  By far the most diverse event I have attended this year: Indigenous, Caucasian, African American, Afro-Indigenous and Indigenous from all over Latin America including Mexico.  A true reflection of America.  

Inside the church the dinning hall was full almost to capacity.  So many different races, nations, genders, generations - all ready to break bread together.  There were at least five tables brimming with all kinds of delicious cabbages, roasted pumpkins, squash, veggies, grains, salads, lentils and yes, turkey.  No cost, only a donation.  The dessert tables were mouth watering adorned with apple, mutli-berry and pumpkin pies, cookies, brownies, tarts, just to name a few.  It was truly a magnificent spread of food and unity.  

I did not find it robbery to leave a generous donation as they fed me something I truly needed: Self Love and Community Love.  

My daughter sniffed out a kids play area and when we returned with our food to sit she opted to sit with the children.  In line with my shy nature, I went right up to a table with an Afro-Indigenous older couple and asked if I could sit with them.  From the wife, I learned she was Haitian but, had come to the US as a teenager over 30 years ago and made Brooklyn, NY her home.  

My two hour journey to Plymouth, MA answered many questions but, the most important one was:

Could the Arawak, Apache, Taino, Wampanaog and other indigenous tribes still really be around? Are they really people who are humble enough to give you whatever they have?  

Yes, we are here.  
We are not vanishing.  
We are not conquered. 
We are as strong, as ever. 

Six Degrees of Separation: Part II

Walking up Pleasant street towards Thorns Market Talina, Nani and I passed an older Caucasian woman who knits colorful headbands and gloves and sells them on the street to make a living.  An older African American gentlemen played his guitar for money and another young Caucasian played some form of string instrument sitting on a bench right outside Thorns.  

As we passed the third peddler, Talina asked me "Why me?  Why did you chose me? There are so many people out here. Is it because of my skin color (referring to the both of us being women of color)?  

After looking within for words to describe why I just couldn't leave her sitting on the ground I looked up at her eyes and said "Because you are me and, I am you,"   

I grew up in fear and uncertainty feelings which later hardened into anger, resentment and insecurity. My father was an alcoholic; when he drank he became vicious and violent towards my mother.  One day he came home from work to an empty apartment - we were gone.  Not yet five years old, our escape and transition are foggy memories of my mother heating our pajamas and school clothes in the the stove's oven. My mother never sought counseling for herself or us.  Up to the age of about 12 years old, I lived in fear of my mother's explosive temper.  There wasn't much we could do to escape the transfer of abuse.  In a fit of rage one morning, my mother charged my sister who with no where no to go backed into a closet in one corner of the kitchen where she was slapped, pulled, shoved, cursed, jabbed with a fork and then bit.  I stood helplessly watching my mother beat my sister.  Afterwards  we were sent off to school walking through block after block of junk yards where tenement buildings once stood while "I hate you; I wish you were never born" rang in my ears.   

By the age of sixteen I was an emancipated minor which meant I did not have a safe, nurturing and welcoming space where I was loved and accepted. 

Talina, Nani and I crossed Pleasant street over to Faces department store. 

"Is Hay Market, alright?" I asked.  "Yes, that's okay," she nodded.  "Can I use the bathroom first?"  Talina asked as we entered Hay Market.  "Of course you can; there's one up here and another downstairs," I assured her.  

There was a woman with her baby waiting to use the upstairs bathroom.  I suggested we go downstairs instead.  We descended down the back stairway to the cozy, dimly lit dining area in the basement level.  We waited for Talina to exit the restroom and then, the waitress helped us get situated in a comfy corner.  Once seated, I took off my coat but, Talina did not.  Talina barely looked up or, directly at me.  I could tell she was uneasy.  There was a grace and humility about Talina which made me feel privileged and honored to have the opportunity  to meet and share with her.   

"I still don't understand...how you see yourself in me?" she said looking up at me.  "Is it because of my color?" she asked.  "No," I said.  "When one of us hurts; we all hurt.  We choose to ignore the suffering of others.  I believe this is why so many of us suffer from dis-eases.  I am doing for you what I would have wanted someone do for me at your age - showed me they cared."  

At the age of 13 I was very short-tempered.  One afternoon, I responded to my mother's verbal abuse by pointing out her own immoral behavior regarding her dating her best friend's boyfriend.  She went into a raging fit and attacked me.  She grabbed an antique doll and hit me over the head.  I lost it when I touched my forehead and saw blood on my fingers.  When she charged at me again I pushed her; she grabbed a stick to hit me with and I grabbed it away from her. She screamed "how dare you hit me?!" And, my older sister came out of her bedroom.  "Vivian, that's your mother!" she exclaimed.  But, I had only tried to defend myself.  I never hit her; I only pushed her away from me.  My mother turned to my older sister and said "either she goes or, I go," pointing to me.  My sister was only two years older than I.  I can't imagine what it must feel like to have to choose between your mother or your sister.  This ultimatum was the beginning of my exile.  From the ages of thirteen to 22 I bounced around to at least six or seven different places.  And, at 21 I was not living on the streets but, I was completely alone renting a bedroom in Washington Heights on the upper West side of Manhattan, attending community college, working and paying rent.  

Even though my older sister lived minutes away from me; we were not close.  We didn't have a loving and trusting relationship.  We didn't look out for each other.  We didn't trust each other.  As a result, I didn't think much of myself.  I was completely isolated from my family and didn't know how to trust people enough to make close friends.  I was severely depressed.  As a result, I was drawn to emotionally unavailable men who lacked honesty and integrity.  Men who often times manipulated me emotionally. Having had no point of reference for what unconditional, protective love looked, felt or sounded like, I was constantly fooled by the 'knock-off' version of love - lust.  

Manipulation, lying and, selfishness were the characteristics I grew accustomed to.  I did not understand honesty, integrity, loyalty and commitment; therefore I felt unprotected and vulnerable in them.  Anyone who exhibited patience, kindness, integrity and loyalty appeared weak and boring and hence unattractive.  Everything I wanted: loving, trusting, committed relationships (family, life partner, community) I did not know how to identify, cultivate and much less embrace or reciprocate.  I lived in a world of shame, confusion and fear masked by (a bruised) ego, procrastination and selfish motives.  I have come a long way.  In my teenage and early 20's I wasted my time, income and energy maintaining a white-supremacist standard of beauty.  I dyed my hair, wore light-colored eye contacts and acrylic on my nails.  I purchased very expensive shoes and clothes I could not afford consequently I never had any money to do anything.  All the while my spirit bled to death. I was slowly  giving up on my self - drowning out my inner voice.  

One summer day, I met this elderly man in Washington Heights: Harry.  Harry, was in his late 70's or early 80's and was a former dancer with impeccable style who traveled to Paris during the Harlem Renaissance period.  Harry and I would walk down Broadway street to a street-side cafe for a beverage.  There he would encourage me "you should go to a state university; you have too many adult responsibilities.  At an university you can live on campus and not have to worry about paying rent." I did not understand why this man thought I was smart enough to attend an university.  I had never mentally pictured myself at a state university; I didn't think I was good enough.  

So, I shouldn't write 'homeless and pregnant' on my sign?" asked Talina struggling to understand.  
"Home is in here," pointing to her heart.  "Home is not a place; its a sense of belonging, of self-worth.  Your home is inside you.  I understand you are in a shelter so you don't have your own place to live." I explained.

"But, I feel I'm homeless because I don't pay rent; I'm just staying there [at the shelter]."  Talina insisted.
"So, a bill makes it a home?" I asked.  

"When you stop running from what's in here [pointing to her heart where her emotional and mental wounds are] you will become your home.  Do you know that when you write something down; you bind it?  You solidify your thought.  Meaning once you have written it you have agreed that you have called it into existence." 

To be bound means: tied to, in the direction of, and together with.  So you are speaking homeless and pregnant into your future.  You are not a homeless pregnant woman but you have written you are homeless pregnant bound.  

"Yesterday, I wrote 'homeless belly-dancer; tomorrow I will put 'homeless belly dancer' or, should I write 'out of work belly-dancer?"  Talina wasn't there yet fully but, I could see her slowly trying to release her lie.

"I want you to start telling yourself what you need to be who you truly are.  Start telling yourself 'I am home.'  Talina fell silent, eyes locked with mine and then at a distance.  I knew she was seeing herself; her future - her home.  

"Thank you," I said putting some money in her hand.  "You're thanking me?" she asked.  
"Yes," I confirmed.  
"Why?" she asked.  "When one of us heals; we all heal.  You are me, 17 years ago." 

I knew I had just healed the 17 year old me.  I reached another level of healing.  I also realized I was her 'Harry' - her elder.  

I know one day in the future, Talina will be the elder to a wandering spirit whom she will help to reach home.

I am thankful for the ancestors who have and continue to guard my walls...blessed to know I too am one.